The mind has always intrigued me. The power of the mind and our ability to control, exercise and develop it are fascinating. I’ve come to realize that, just as physical strength varies from person to person, mental strength varies as well. Two people can experience the same type of problem; however, how they handle the problem can be completely different.
Why is it so important to develop our mental strength? I believe the reason is because our mental strength determines how well we will deal with life. Our level of mental strength will determine how we are going to handle what comes our way. This can be said of how we handle relationship issues, troubles at work, family conflict, hard decisions that need to be made, physical illness, or raising teenagers.
What is Mental Strength?
I recently read the book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, by Amy Morin. She states, “Mental strength means that you regulate your emotions, manage your thoughts, and behave in a positive manner, despite your circumstances.” She goes on to say, “Mental strength involves more than just willpower; it requires hard work and commitment. It’s establishing healthy habits and choosing to devote your time and energy to self-improvement.”
To put it in my own words, “Mental strength is having the mental capacity to deal with reality in a positive manner.” As I talk with different men whom I coach, whether we’re talking about ministry or life circumstances, it quickly becomes apparent which ones possess exceptional mental strength. The great news is that mental strength is something that can be developed. Here are 3 ways to develop mental strength.
1. Choose a growth mindset.
In her book called, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Carol Dweck told of research she conducted to find why some people succeeded more than others. She found the ones who had a “fixed mindset” and looked at their skills as permanent or “I’m born this way, so I’ll never be any better,” gave up quickly. They didn’t take risks, and they didn’t persevere.
A person was more successful when they had the mindset that their skill was not fixed (they could increase it). Dweck said the key phrase to success was, “I’m not there yet. I will be.” We have to take a growth mindset and realize that hard work and perseverance do pay off.
2. Focus your energy on what you can influence.
It’s better to spend our energy on things we can actually do something about. Some examples of things we can influence are our attitude, what we eat, how we invest our time, the people we develop relationships with, the type of employee we are, and the work we produce. This is the power of the serenity prayer:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
3. Tell a positive story.
When I read Ryan Holiday’s book, The Obstacle is the Way, I learned the power of perspective. When an event comes into our life, there’s the event, and then there’s the story we tell ourselves about the event. If we assign a positive meaning to a negative event, we will feel differently and respond differently to bad news. Holiday says, “We can see opportunity in every disaster, and transform that negative situation into an education, a skill set, or a fortune.”
Developing our mental strength is absolutely critical to our success, because it will determine how well we will deal with life.
Do you need to develop your mental strength?
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