Aristotle said, “What it lies in our power to do it lies in our power not to do.” We are not powerless when it comes to breaking our bad habits. We learned in Part 1 that we first have to understand the habit loop, and then we have to make it difficult to practice the bad habits. Just a reminder, a bad habit is a habit that is having a negative effect on our lives. If you missed Part one, you can read it here.
Now, let’s look at the final two steps to help you break your bad habits.
3. Clarify your preferred future.
In order to break our bad habits, we have to get super clear of what we want our lives to look like in the future–5, 10, 15, even 20 years from now. What goal are you working toward? What vision do you have for yourself?
In his book, Be Your Future Self Now, Benjamin Hardy says that most human behavior is driven by short-term rewards. We are short-sided, in-the-moment creatures of instant gratification. We have a tough time thinking in a future-oriented way. If we are going to break a bad habit, we have to learn how to think beyond the moment. What do you want the quality of your life to be 5 or 10 years from now? What do you want your daily routine to look like?
Play the movie.
In his book, 9 Things You Simply Must Do, Henry Cloud talks about this principal by saying that people need to “play the movie” in their lives. Our life is like a movie, filled with scenes that all lead to the end of our story. Cloud tries to teach us to hit play on our life and watch the end of the movie. See where all of the scenes you are currently living out are going to lead you. What does the end of your movie look like based on your current habits and patterns?
Successful people are able to look at the end of the movie. Never see any individual action as a singular thing in and of itself; for instance, if you have a bad habit of overeating, play that forward. Today’s overeating is not an isolated scene. It will eventually effect your body and cravings. It will impact you as you compound that over time. Is this the destination you want? Remember, all of the scenes are connected. If you don’t like how your movie ends when you play it, you have to start making changes now.
4. Don’t do it alone.
God has not made us to live in isolation. He’s created you to live in community and to need the encouragement, support, insight, and wisdom of other people. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As Iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”
What does that look like? Henry Cloud wrote another great book entitled, “The Power of the Other.” He tells the story of his brother-in-law Mark who was a Navy Seal. He passed away in the Iraq War. After his brother-in-law passed, one of Mark’s Navy Seal buddies whose name was Bryce told him an incredible story about Mark.
It was the last day of Hell Week. They hadn’t slept, had little food, and they were on a long swim. Bryce said he was 100 yards from the sand, and his body literally had stopped working. He could just float because he was done. He was about to signal that he was done, and Bryce told Cloud that right in that moment, he looked up and locked eyes with Mark who had already finished and was on the sand. Mark screamed at him and started encouraging him. Suddenly, there was an incredible surge of energy that came over his body. He couldn’t even understand it, and he started swimming again. He made it to the beach and became a Navy Seal.
There’s power in accountability.
There’s something that is almost supernatural or unexplainable that happens between two people when there is encouragement and support and concern. So, when you are trying to break a bad habit, if you isolate yourself, you are forfeiting this massive source of power that you gain from having someone holding you to your word.
Maybe that looks like a daily phone call or reading a book together or doing a Bible study together. Maybe you meet weekly or monthly. The truth is–you won’t want to disappoint that person, so it will help hold your feet to the fire and help you make progress on breaking your bad habit.
What are your bad habits that you’d like to break? To recap, in order to break bad habits, you must:
1. Understand the habit loop.
2. Make it difficult.
3. Clarify your preferred future.
4. Don’t do it alone.
I hope this content has been helpful to you. Please be sure to share this blog and the Breakthrough Podcast with others. We’ll dive into this topic and other new topics every month.
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