As part of a recent marriage series, I received the following question:
“How do I wholeheartedly protect my wife’s heart and show her that I love her?”
This is a great question because the scriptures tell us that we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church, protect them, and present them to Christ someday washed by the Word (Ephesians 5:25-26). It’s your job to protect your wife’s heart! How do we do this? I believe there are three simple things you can do.
1. Study your wife’s heart.
It is my responsibility to listen and know what the issues are that are troubling her. Is she struggling with body issues? Does she feel insecure? Does she not feel pretty? Is she struggling with jealousy? Does she not feel as good as other women or other moms? Does she constantly compare herself to other women? Is it pride? Materialism? What are the issues that my wife is struggling to overcome? You have to know these issues. Your job as a husband is to be a constant student of your wife.
2. Pray for your wife.
Once you know the issues, you should go to God in prayer for her. You can say, “God, I know my wife is struggling with this.” The truth of the matter is that you can’t change your wife, but you can pray for her. God can do more for her than you will ever be able to do.
I recently picked up an amazing book that I would highly recommend for you to read. It’s entitled How to Pray For Your Wife by Mark A. Weathers. It’s a 31-day guide, and it works through 31 issues that you can pray for your spouse about.
3. Gently bring truth and support to your wife.
Even though you can’t fix the issue, God will use you to help in that issue. What I mean by that is there may be a passage of scripture you can gently share with her about whatever the issue is. There may be a particular book you have heard of or a podcast you could recommend. Show her constant support about that particular issue, and that will speak volumes to her that you are in her corner, you are not judging her, and you are on her team.
A word of caution–avoid criticism and critique, because that will never go well. She cannot feel your judgment of her. There’s a difference between being critical of her and being supportive and speaking the truth in love. Always remember to show constant support for your wife.
I believe one of the greatest gifts I can give my wife is to love her well and to protect her heart. I can do that by studying her heart, praying for her, and gently bringing truth and support to her regarding the tough issues she is facing.
Be sure to let me know any thoughts you have in the comments below!
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