At some point in our lives, we all come up against a difficult event or circumstance. Often, the event or circumstance will become an obstacle or a barrier to our achieving what we want to achieve.
An obstacle can come in all different shapes and sizes. It may include things such as betrayal, extra work from the boss, a health scare, a cancer diagnosis, or a difficult co-worker or family member. What is important is what we do with these obstacles when we encounter them.
If we don’t learn how to overcome them, they will derail and distract us. They may cause us to become depressed or irritated, and sometimes they can even completely block us from making progress in our lives.
Changing Your Perception of Events
A few years ago, I read an incredible book by Ryan Holiday entitled, The Obstacle is the Way. In the very first section of the book, Holiday discusses the power of perception.
Holiday says, “Perception is how we see and understand what occurs around us–and what we decide those events mean.” We can make the choice to give any event a different meaning and, thus, change the event’s impact on our lives.
Holiday continues by saying, “We can see opportunity in every disaster, and transform that negative situation into an education, a skillset, or a fortune. Seen properly, everything that happens–be it an economic crash or a personal tragedy–is a chance to move forward.”
Here are three strategies I have found that help me in assigning the proper perception of events that occur in my life.
1. Recognize that events don’t have meaning in themselves.
When we are the ones involved in an event, we are emotional beings. Our emotions tend to cloud our ability to think clearly. We have to remember that events in and of themselves don’t have emotions attached to them, and any emotion about an event is there because we’ve attached that perception to it.
2. Realize that you get to decide.
The perception or meaning we attach to an event is our choice. Between the time an event occurs and the time we have a defined perception of the event–a choice is made. We get to make the choice of what significance that event will play in our lives. It is in this space that we can make the choice to see a silver lining or a positivity in every event.
3. Act like your own coach.
To immediately react with frustration to difficult events is only human; however, what we do from there is critical. It will be beneficial if we will pretend that the event is happening to someone else. Try to remove the emotion and pretend it is not happening to you. When we try to detach emotions from an event, the lack of emotion will give you the space to coach yourself as if you were coaching a friend.
If you have an event that has been traumatic or difficult in your life, you get to choose your perception of that event and the significance you will assign to it. You are in the driver’s seat. Will you allow the event to block you from personal growth or from moving forward? Will it cause you to become stuck? Or will you choose to see the silver lining?
The power is in your hands.
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